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Mediating Your Child’s Fights With Their Siblings

8/19/2020

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Children are going to fight, it’s inevitable. Raising your family and your children with mutual respect for one another is great, but living in close quarters with someone will lead to getting on someone’s nerves, and the pushing of buttons that will lead to an argument or a fight. Most of the time, fights between siblings are about wanting to play with a toy that the other is using, when playtime gets a little too intense, or something as simple as splitting a cookie. If you’ve had siblings growing up, you’re familiar with how sibling fights arise. It is completely different, however, to experience sibling fights when they’re your kids! 

Keep reading to learn how to mediate your child’s sibling fights, and when you’ve had enough kids for one day, contact us for inquiries about our preschool enrollment. With convenient preschool locations in Coon Rapids, Blaine, East Bethel, or Isanti, there is no reason not to enroll with us.
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It’s Normal
Your kids aren’t monsters for fighting with each other. As a matter of fact, it is completely normal for them to have conflict. Every human relationship has conflict simply because every individual is unique and has their own set of needs. Sometimes two individuals need to play with the exact same stuffed animal at the same time. Just because sibling conflict is normal, however, doesn’t necessarily mean that you are doomed for another couple years, or decade, of your kids screaming at each other while you cook dinner or drive them to school. There are plenty of things you can do to prevent conflict before it happens, and if it comes to it, help your children resolve the dispute by themselves. 

Don’t Take Sides
It is important to remember not to take sides, even if one child physically hurt the other. Once you have been looped into the conflict, your children are going to think that there is going to be a winner and a loser, which can create more hurt feelings between the children, and potentially even more fights. You don’t want to give your children the idea that one of them is the troublemaker, but it is important to address the problem as soon as possible. Without shaming the child who started the fight or who physically escalated the fight, you need to be able to acknowledge their feelings but also set some limits. For example, if an older sibling hits their younger sibling because they grabbed a toy from their hands, you could say something like “You’re mad that your brother grabbed your toy, but he doesn’t understand that it’s yours. Even if you feel upset, it is not O.K. to hit.” 

Give Siblings One-On-One Treatment
Eldest siblings may feel jealous or left out because younger siblings can sometimes get a little more attention. They can notice that they are no longer getting all the attention, which could potentially lead them to hold jealousy against the younger child. It is important to set up one-on-one time with older siblings, building a strong relationship with them, being sure not to show favoritism. This doesn’t mean it needs to be equal all the time, but it is important to try to make things fair. Kids often notice the privileges of their siblings, and it feels painful. 

Raising a child is never easy, and mediating fights between your children can be a lot harder than you would expect. You can stay updated on our blogs to learn more tips about certain aspects of raising kids, but remember raising children is a singular experience, and you’re doing the best you can. Take some deep breaths, and if you need a preschool in Coon Rapids, Blaine, East Bethel, or Isanti, then contact us today. 
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